Title: Yesterday to Tomorrow: Chapter One hundred ninety-seven, Drama
Rating: R/NC-17 [violence, language, sexual nudity]

Summary: Three words of terror...

Previous Chapter Not a rebound

Current Chapter Kaleidoscope of feelings

Next Chapter Shadows of memories

Her brown eyes went wide. The pair of chopsticks in her hand dropped to the table with a clatter. All sense of breathing and thinking were gone, completely gone. He had not said what she heard. Not at all. It wasn't possible.

Alyssa shook her head, "No."

Concern tainted Chris's features, "No? No what, Lyss?"

She pushed abruptly away from the table. Without a word she hurried from the kitchen, looking for her sandals, her purse. Slipping her feet into the shoes, she had a sudden thought of retrieving her clothes, but thought better of it. It would waste too much time. She had to get out of there and as quickly as possible.

Her hand went to the door handle and she struggled to open the door, only because she hadn't realized the deadbolt was locked. As her fingers fumbled with the deadbolt a hand covered hers. She froze in that instant, like a deer in headlights.

"Let me go," she muttered quickly.

"Why are you running away from me?" he asked, slowly pulling her hand off the lock. "What are you so afraid of?"

She couldn't turn and look at him, because she knew there was hurt in his eyes, "We have a good thing now... or did. I'm not ruining a good thing, Chris, just because your wife left you."

She felt him flinch before saying, "Running away doesn't solve anything, Alyssa. You know this. Come sit with me and we'll talk about this."

"No," Alyssa stated. "I need to not be near you."

"Why?"

She sighed, "Because you have a hell of a lot more to figure out before you can even claim love again, especially loving me. I'm not going to risk our friendship because you're hurting from the end of a marriage. We need to be apart so you can figure it out. Then... then maybe we can discuss it."

"Don't do this, Alyssa. Please. Don't push me away like this. Don't run away," Chris pleaded softly.

Alyssa shook her head, her wet braid slapping him once in the face, "Maybe if the circumstances were different. But they aren't. Things need to settle. Vicky just left yesterday. I'm not... I know you well enough, Chris, to know what it's doing to you inside, even if we did talk at length about it yesterday. I..."

"Please don't leave," he repeated, his hand trailing up her arm to her shoulder, attempting to get her to turn around. "Alyssa, if you run away I have nothing left."

"Chris," she sighed. "We... we just got a whole lot complicated."

Relenting to the soft pressure on her shoulder, Alyssa turned to face him. Her eyes shimmered with tears she couldn't explain, which was mirrored in his. Fresh hurt shined in his face, and she knew if she walked out, she would be breaking a part of him that she had protected for so long.

Her eyes wavered on his and she took a step from the door, towards him. They only touched where his hand was on her arm. Alyssa sighed deeply once again.

"If I stay, I need a few promises from you. Right now," she stated.

He nodded.

"No more touching," his hand dropped from her arm. "Definitely no more kissing. No saying those three words. And give me some time to think this over. Agreed?"

Chris nodded again, "Whatever it takes to keep you from running."

"Good," said Alyssa. "Now let's eat in peace. Then I think I'll go meditate outside while you do some thinking of your own, agreed?"

"Yes," he replied, not saying any more.

Dropping her purse where it was and removing her sandals once again, Alyssa side-stepped before heading back to the kitchen. She had seen, had read the myriad of emotions in his eyes. And amongst the kaleidoscope of feelings, Alyssa had noted that very spark he claimed to feel. Part of her wanted to embrace him and tell him she felt all those wonderful things as well, but the louder part of her wanted to distance herself from him, to not get swept up in hormones from not having a boyfriend or even dating anyone for three months. She would err on the side of caution that day, perhaps for some time.

She wasn't ready to fall in love with her best friend.