Title: Yesterday to Tomorrow: Chapter Forty-one, Lost Like a Prayer
Rating: NC-17 [violence, swearing, nudity, sexual situations]

Summary: The family prepares to move, but have a quick trip to the hospital to contend with.

Previous Chapter Sit with me

Current Chapter Lost Like a Prayer

Next Chapter 843

Alyssa's eyes darted to Chris's, "How long has it been?"

"Two minutes, Lyss," he chuckled. "Not yet, baby."

She started to pace, her eyes on her hands, on the ceiling, on Chris, everywhere. He reached out for her, his hands stopping her movements.

"There's no reason to be nervous, baby. Either we are or we aren't. No big deal," he claimed. "No big deal."

"Says the man with three kids already," she pointed out.

Chris kissed her nose, "We'll be pregnant when it's right. If it's right now, it's right. Besides.... it's only been a month since we first made love. It's rather early to be taking a pregnancy test."

"Not true. I bought one of those early detection ones. They claim they can detect it before your first missed period," Alyssa replied. "And I haven't peed for like four hours, so it should be able to detect anything, if it's present."

His fingers brushed over her forehead, "You're not going to be terribly upset if the test is not positive, right?"

"Whatever will be, will be," Alyssa answered.

"Good," he glanced at his watch. "Because ten minutes are up."

"Oh god," she muttered.

Hand in hers, Chris lead her into the bathroom. Lifting the testing strip up in he light, he pivoted it back and forth. Setting it back on the counter his eyes went to hers.

"Nothing."

Alyssa frowned, sighing slightly, "And I was so certain we were."

"When the time is right, my love," he kissed her gently. "Besides you just thought it was a possibility we were, not that we actually were."

"I know, but.... I liked the thought," she admitted.

"Soon enough," he kissed her again. "Let's concentrate on finding a house for our current family and getting married. Our baby will come to us when we're ready."

She nodded, leaning into him, "I know...."



Holding the box close, Alyssa barely pulled her hands out of the way before Toni taped her to it. The three year old wasn't exactly adept at taping boxes. But she wasn't bad either. Least the boxes did stay closed.

"What color should we make your new room, Toni?" Alyssa asked.

"Purple!" the little girl declared.

She grinned, "Easily done. We'll go shopping for a new blanket after we get all the boxes over to the new house."

"I wanna playhouse," the little girl stated.

"Hmmmm. I'll have to talk to Daddy about that," she answered, though she was already planning in the back of her mind what the playhouse would look like.

"Okay. Can I have cookie?"

Alyssa considered it for a moment, "Yes. You've been a great help today. Let's go have a cookie and some milk. Maybe Daddy wants some too?"

"I go fine him!" Toni declared, running out of the room.

Standing, Alyssa stretched her tight muscles. Sitting on a floor taping up boxes wasn't her idea of a pleasant way to spend the day. But at least they would be all moved by the end of the week and she could go back to focusing on the wedding.

Heading to the door, she paused in the doorway. A shock of pain went through her abdomen, causing her to flinch and dig her fingers in. She'd never had cramps like that before. Not so localized, not so intense. Biting her lip, she waited for the cramp to go away.

It lessened but did not disappear.

And then nausea rose in her throat. Struggling to hurry to the nearest bathroom as every step hurt, Alyssa barely made it to the toilet before everything they ate for lunch came up. A little voice in the back of her head was grateful she had braided her hair from her face that day so she hadn't worried about holding it out of the way.

"Lyss-lyss? Dada says—" the toddler stopped in the hallway, eyes wide on the vomiting woman in the bathroom. "DADA!"

Chris hurried up the stairs at the banshee like scream of his daughter. Tears were streaming down her face, a panicked look on her face. He scooped her up and tried to calm her, not yet realizing what had scared her so much.

Until his eyes followed hers. Just as Alyssa slumped against the toilet.

After taking Toni downstairs to watch her brother, as well as a toddler could watch a toddler, he hurried back up the steps. Falling to his knees next to Alyssa, he slowly pulled her away from the toilet.

"Baby?"

"Chris.... hurts...." she muttered, her skin a paler shade than he had seen since her days in the hospital.

"What does, baby?"

"Here," she declared, fingers poking near her right hip.

Nodding, he made the immediate decision to take her to the hospital, and stood, "I'm going to go ask the neighbor to watch the kids. I will be right back, Alyssa."



Chris's eyes shot up when the doctor stepped out of the room. A moment later he was on his feet.

"Is she going to be all right?"

The doctor nodded, "Yes, Mr. Cornell, Alyssa will be perfectly all right."

"What was wrong with her?"

"I'm sorry to say this, Mr. Cornell, but your fiancee had a miscarriage."

Chris's eyes went wide, "No."

"I'm afraid so. She was probably about seven weeks along, give or take. It's not uncommon for things like this to happen and it doesn't decrease your chances of having children in the future," he explained. "From my examination, I believe it was an ectopic pregnancy, so it really was for the better she miscarried so soon."

"But we took a pregnancy test last week and it was negative," he declared.

"A pregnancy as young as hers is hard to detect," the doctor answered.

Chris ran his hand through his hair, "What did you tell her?"

"Not much. I thought perhaps you would want to break the news to her," he stated.

He nodded, "Thanks. And I can take her home....?"

"I'll go process her release now. She'll probably want to take it easy for a day or so, but otherwise it will be more or less like a regular period. I'll give you some samples to lessen her cramping," he answered.

"Thank you," Chris said again before pushing into Alyssa's room. "Baby?"

Her eyes went to his and she smiled weakly, "Chris?"

He sat in the chair next to hers, picking up her hand and kissing it, "We'll go home soon."

"What's wrong with me?" she uttered.

He kissed her hand again, "Nothing, baby. Everything is fine now."

"Chris, please tell me."

He sighed, "Miscarriage. From an ectopic pregnancy."

"Oh, god," she muttered, eyes going to the ceiling. "It's because of the shooting, isn't it? I'm not going to have kids."

"No no no no no," Chris quickly replied. "It was just a fluke. No reason you shouldn't have as many normal pregnancies as you want."

Her eyes went to his, tears rimming her lashes, "But, Chris...."

"No buts," he leaned over and kissed her quickly. "You're beautiful inside and out. I love you. It wasn't our time for a baby. Not yet."



Alyssa lay in the bed, Chris's body cradling hers. There was nothing left in that house but a change of clothes for everyone and their beds. Chris had insisted on sleeping one more night in that house, thinking Alyssa would sleep better there. And he had been partially right, for she did, half the night at least. The rest of the night, nightmares plagued her. Gunshots ripped through her abdomen, old men fell out of wheelchairs reaching for her, babies cried and she couldn't reach them to pick them up. She felt as if her mind was tearing itself apart.

And in a way it was. For her nightmares were exorcising her worries, her fears, her sadness. Things her mind was hoping to leave behind in the house.

The morning dawned with dark circles under Alyssa's eyes. Chris noticed, but said nothing, deciding it was something better left discussed when they had alone time. They dressed the kids and headed to have breakfast at the local pancake house. Toni and Nick made a mess of course, but managed to eat about half of their plates, making Alyssa giggle when they flicked food at Chris.

"I think egg is a good look for you," she stated, reaching across the table to pluck the scrambled egg from his hair.

"It certainly is. I thank my stylists," he bowed towards his kids, making Toni giggle. "Should we head back and see that the beds are loaded up?"

"I'm sure Tom has everything, including Tim, under control," Alyssa replied. "Let's just head to our home. I'm more concerned about getting things settled enough to sleep tonight."

Nodding, Chris set some bills on the table, out of the kids reach, and moved to get Nick out of the high chair, "Need to get you settled so we can relax before the wedding."

"Oh don't even mention the w word to me right now, Christopher. I've got enough stress in moving," Alyssa teased, wiping Toni's hands before releasing her from her chair, "to not even want to think wedding for a week."

"We'll see how successful you are at that."