Title: Yesterday to Tomorrow: Chapter Thirty-eight, Hold onto the Moment
Rating: NC-17 [violence, swearing, nudity, sexual situations]

Summary: Chris has cold feet. Literally.

Previous Chapter A Setback

Current Chapter Hold onto the Moment

Next Chapter Paradise Sunset

"Chris, put me down," Alyssa declared. "Please."

"Upstairs," he replied.

"No. Don't bother. You'll have to carry me back down later. We can sleep in the rooms down here," she stated.

"But—"

"No, Chris," she argued, wiggling in his arms. "Don't waste your energy carrying me up stairs when it's not necessary. Just leave me down here and get whatever it is up there we need."

"But—"

"Chris," Alyssa cut him off.

"All right," he sighed, carrying her over to the couch. "I'll be right back."

"I'll be here," she replied, smiling at him.



Eyes flying open, Alyssa slapped Chris's chest, causing him to wake with as much of a start as she had. Scrambling he tumbled backwards out of the bed, before getting up and fumbling around for the light. His eyes went to hers, panic in his, not such in hers.

"Lyss?"

"How can your feet be so cold when we're in the Caribbean?" she asked.

"What?"

She flipped back the light blanket and pointed down at her feet. Her toes wiggled randomnly.

"Your cold feet touching mine woke me up," Alyssa declared.

He grinned, kneeling next to the bed. Reaching for her foot, Chris's index finger ran along the bottom of it. She giggled and attempted to pull her foot from his hand. He leaned forward, lips touching the top of her foot. Once more she attempted to pull her foot from his gentle grasp. Her foot remained in his hand, though she wasn't trying all that hard.

"I think this may be the only time in my life I've been grateful of cold feet," she teased, propping herself up on her elbows. "Touch me."

While normally that phrase would incline one to think sexually, Chris knew better in the moment. Both wanted to know how much she felt, though her moving her toes had been a very good indicator all was right. Waiting for her eyes to close, his fingertips trailed up her leg. By the way that her lips twitched in a small smile, he knew she felt his touches. Kissing her navel, his hand ran down her other leg, just for good measure.

"And?" he breathed, moving back on the bed to lay next to her.

"I want to go swimming," she declare, eyes meeting his again.

"Right now?"

Alyssa nodded, "It's a good way to test my legs. Plus the moon is so very bright outside. And we're just a few steps away."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Please?" she asked, pushing back up on her elbows and pivoting her legs towards the edge of the bed.

Seeing her moving sparked him into action and Chris was out of the bed a moment later. Standing in front of her, he offered his hands, helping her slowly stand. Her eyes remained down for a moment, waiting to see her legs shake and tremble with her weight upon them again. Surprisingly they did not.

She didn't argue when his arm slipped around her back. She did however pause to consider taking her clothes off before going outside. But that might have been more than Chris needed in the moment. She would discard the shirt next to the pool.

They moved slowly but steadily towards the backyard pool. Alyssa paused about half way, eyes leaving the tile to look up at the moonlight bay below them. She smiled, leaning on Chris a little more, but not from need. Her face turned to his and they kissed gently.

"I think we can outrule parasailing and snorkeling now," Alyssa declared.

He chuckled, "I'll take walking on the beach over those anyways."



Snuggling up against Chris, Alyssa sighed contently. After their little scare with her losing feeling, they had come to the conclusion that pool or bath sex was their best bet. At least until they could get back to Alyssa's doctors. She was even hesitant to do any yoga, not wanting to jinx her ability to walk in the moment.

Only two days remained of their vacation in paradise. Only two more days until returning to normal life. Only two more days until they would both have to face things they had been avoiding. Like what to do with the house, where to move, where to get married.

As long as she didn't allow her thoughts to travel outside of their immediate surroundings, Alyssa was able to deny her father's death. Probably not the best solution, but one that made their vacation more than pleasant.

However with their impending departure, tears forgotten started to well up in her closed eyelids. Her thoughts ran over that which had been avoided and her heart seized up once more. She had been such an awful, ungrateful daughter.

"Baby?" Chris asked gently, noticing her body tense.

His fingers traced over her forehead. She tried to focus on his touch, not her dark thoughts. But it wasn't working.

"I was a bad daughter," she muttered.

"No, baby, you weren't," he replied softly, kissing her temple. "You were the best you could be."

"He died alone, Chris," she declared. "No one should ever die alone."

Chris sighed, "Yes. He died alone. But he died peacefully, Lyss. Far more peaceful than he had been in years. Because he knew you loved him once more. You two re-connected once more, Lyssa. That is so very important. The last memories of your father should be happy ones. Wasn't he happy?"

She nodded, "Yeah."

"Hold onto that memory, baby. That's the important one. Don't think that he died alone. Because he was never truly alone. He had you and your love. Even far apart he was not alone. Your love is that great," he declared.

She sighed, a shaky sigh, punctuated by her sobs, "But why? Why did he have to die? There was so much more we were going to do."

"Maybe he was holding onto life to reunite with you, Lyssa. And once that was done, that he saw you were well and happy, he knew he could let go and move on," Chris suggested. "He died in peace, baby. And he's with us now. He would not want you to be so sad for so long."

"But—"

"Alyssa, I love you. Toni and Nick love you. None of us want to see you sad or cry. Your father wouldn't either. I know it's not easy, but know that we're here beside you, loving you," he stated. "I love you."

Alyssa took a deep breath, pushing out her sadness with the breath, "I know. I love you too."