Title: Yesterday to Tomorrow: Chapter Thirty-three, Music to the Soul
Rating: R [violence, swearing, nudity]

Summary: Chris sweeps Alyssa away in hopes of cheering her up.

Previous Chapter Always Be Here

Current Chapter Music to the Soul

Next Chapter Surprise

Her chin on Toni's shoulder, Alyssa looked towards the plane. She was looking less forward to going to California than she thought. Her father's estate was all taken care of, there was no reason to remain in Seattle.

Except for the fact that it wasn't California. And she loved it there.

"Ready?" Chris's voice broke her thoughts.

She nodded, not saying anything.

He frowned, "Baby, I know you don't want to go back home. But we won't be there for long. Remember that vacation we're going on?"

She nodded again, not showing any emotion.

His frown remained present for another moment longer, before he touched the small of her back, "Let's board, baby. We can talk of things later."

Allowing Chris to guide her onto the plane, Alyssa mechanically buckled Toni into her seat before sitting next to the little girl. Her own belt buckled, she looked out the window towards her city. Tears wanted to coat her cheek, but none left the rims of her eyes, none darkened her eyelashes.

He ached to do something, anything to get her to smile once more. But she couldn't, wouldn't. She wouldn't even talk to him. He couldn't remember when she spoke last... the funeral, at the cemetary, three days prior. Toni had said something about Alyssa talking, but not a word had she said to anyone in his presence. He knew he needed to take things a day at a time, but he was of the mind to shake her and scream, just to get a reaction out of her.

"Patience," he muttered to himself. "Just love her."


She couldn't get out of the car. Physically she was able to, but she couldn't convince herself to do so. Because entering the house would remind her that her father wasn't with her as he should have been. Entering the house would give her a view of his cottage if she looked out any window into the backyard. She couldn't get out, not even after Chris had opened her door and offered his hand.

"S'ok, Lyss-lyss. Dada here," Toni assured her in her small voice. "Dada care you."

Her brown eyes glanced at the toddler, somehow finding strength in the little girl's smile. Slipping her hand into Chris's, she allowed him to help her out of the car. A moment later she turned and picked up Toni, keeping the girl as close to her heart as possible.

His son in his other arm, Chris slipped his arm around Alyssa's back, guiding her up to the house. He knew why she was hesitant and wished he could do something for her. No matter what they did, where they went in the room, she was going to be haunted by her father, even though he had never stepped foot in their house.

No, his house. It wasn't really their house. And that was how a solution presented itself.

"Lyssa?" he said softly, letting Nick down once they entered the house and closed the door. "I think we should move."

Her empty eyes darted to his, questioning without speech.

"Get our own house. Make a new start," he explained. "Something that is us, not a mismatch of us before and now. Some place for our family to live."

"All right," she agreed, nodding slowly as Toni hurried after her toddling brother.

For a brief moment, Chris was astonished to hear her voice once more. But he quickly recovered and smiled.

"We'll look for something when we get back," he declared.

"I.... I don't know if we should be go—"

Chris kissed her forehead, "We need the holiday more than ever now, my love."


One of the benefits of not knowing where they were going, was Chris packed her suitcases. This left Alyssa much time with the kids before leaving them with Chris's brother. Even with the kids, she found her eyes going to the windows, windows with blinds and curtains closed so as to not see the cottage in the backyard. It pained her heart just knowing what was on the other side of those visual barriers.

And the kids noticed. Of course. Nick wasn't nearly as perceptive as Toni, but then again he was also not of the talking age just yet. They giggled and played, doing what they could to keep Alyssa's eyes and attention upon themselves. And for the most part it was working.

Chris found them in Toni's room on the floor, both kids sitting on Alyssa's stomach. Nick sat closer to her chest, his little fingers attempting to tickle her ribs while his sister attempted to tickle her sides. Leaning on the doorframe, he watched for a few moments, grinning when Alyssa chuckled before going in to tickle the kids right back. Their combined laughter was music to his soul.

"Lyss?" he said softly, interrupting their play.

Her eyes went to his, her smile not fading, "Yeah?"

"Time to take these monsters over to my brother's. We have a plane to catch," Chris grinned, so relieved she was still smiling.

"Well then you better grab 'em," she stated. "I can't move."

His grin disappeared, "Lyss, are you alr—"

"I'm fine. Just not easy to sit up with two kids sitting on my stomach, love," she interrupted.

Relief was evident on his face as he pulled Nick off, leaving Alyssa to deal with Toni, "I thought—"

"I know," she sat up quickly enough to catch Toni and blow a raspberry on her stomach.

With Toni giggling and hurrying away from Alyssa so as to not be tortured once more, Alyssa slowly got to her feet. In truth her hips were bothering her that day, but she wasn't going to tell Chris that. Especially since she was certain it was just one of those days, nothing big to be worried about. She caught the little girl, carrying her upside down as they headed to the stairs. Deciding having Toni in her arms wasn't the wisest things to do with the pins shooting in her legs, she let the girl down, watching her giggle down the stairs.

She felt his eyes on her as she descended the staircase. Alyssa didn't dare to look at him until she made it down the last step. Her eyes raised to his and she smiled reassuredly. Chris wasn't buying it, but chose to wait until they were childless before harassing her about it.


"Now be good," Alyssa touched Toni's nose. "And we'll bring you back something special from wherever it is we're going."

"Lyss-lyss?" the girl asked.

"Yeah?"

"No sad. Dada like you happy," she declared.

"I'll try," she replied, kissing her forehead. "See you in two weeks."

Back in the car with Chris, Alyssa let the silence settle in. She knew what he was thinking. He was worrying about her again, about her physicality, about her depression. She knew it. And wasn't particularly in the mood to tell him otherwise. At least yet.

Of course he broke the silence, forcing her hand, "You okay?"

"I'm fine, Chris."

"But at the house you—"

"I'm fine, Chris," she repeated.

"But—"

Alyssa sighed, "Chris, I'm fine. Really. I don't like not knowing where we're going. But I'm fine. My hips are sore, but that's nothing to worry about. And I miss my dad like crazy, but I'm going to be okay about that too. I just.... I just don't want you to always worry about me."

"I can't help it. I love you," he declared. "For better, for worse and all of that. I love you. Everything you feel, I feel. I can't help it."

"Chris," she reached over and squeezed his hand softly, "I wouldn't be here without you. Take faith in that."

He squeezed her hand back, "These next two weeks are going to change everything. I promise."